I'm not kidding. I don't know how it is that I have been married to this man for over 8 years, together for 10 and yet he still hasn't figured it out. Tweaking my nipples only succeeds in pissing me off. It's been that way for like my entire sexual life. I hated it when boyfriends in high school decided they wanted to pay attention to only my nipples. I hated it with a passion when my ex-husband did it and, yes, I do still hate it now.
My ex-husband had an affinity for the sneak attack in the car. We'd be driving along and all of a sudden his hand would whip out and tweak a nipple. Yeah. He never did learn that lesson. Smacks. Slaps. Screams. Nothing stopped it. So, I got insanely good at ultimate blocking of said sneak attacks. Even with poor vision I still have excellent peripheral vision and saw the sneak attack from a mile away and was able to block them.
Now, with a man I truly DO love, I still have to block. And try my damnedest not to get pissed off at him when he does it. Try. It doesn't work, though. I still get pissed off. I really only like my nipples to be touched when he's inside me. We have to be in the heat of it and really going for it and then it just brings me to climax even faster. But any other time? Forget it asshole. Don't fucking touch them!!!
How is it that this man is so daft that after 10 years he hasn't figured out that just KISSING me is all he really does need to do to get me in the mood? And somehow, he thinks that it's his God given right to be able to touch my boobs at any time because I let him give me his last name. Sorry buddy, my body is still my body. You don't own me! You don't own this body!
Am I alone here? Seriously, I can't be the only woman who hates to have her nipples tweaked. PLEASE TELL ME I'M NOT ALONE. Otherwise, maybe I need some more therapy..............
Posts
Mystery Mommy - I don't quite agree but I love your honesty. And that first paragraph stopped me in my tracks! There is nothing that I like more than to have him inside me and suckling on me at the same time. There is where our similarities end, though, as I love to have my nipples played with by hands, fingers, a tongue, a mouth...Damn! Now, I am horny and an empty house.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I don't think the challenge was meant for my comments to be free and loose but there you have them. Tell him! Communicate (something I just wrote about a bit).
I understand the bigger picture in this. That men will continue to do things that women don't particularly find funny, attractive or sexy. That it seems some men believe this one particular thing is a good idea and nothing can turn them away from it. Like Nicki, I also believe the answer is in communication. But dammit if communicating something so personal and private, so "touchy," as it were, isn't difficult. It IS difficult. And in my experience, the communicating can turn out to be much more draining and unproductive than learning how to just live with it. Learning how to block it.
ReplyDeleteThe man/woman thing can actually get in the way of the man/woman relationship. The man/woman intimacy is bound by the differences between us. Differences that tend to weigh much more heavily on the woman.
I don't particularly love my nipples being squeezed, tweaked, and pulled for no good reason. My answer would be to do it back to him. But...if it turns HIM on, you might be in trouble. :) If, however, it also makes him a bit uncomfortable, you might have found a solution. A few random nipple clenches while he's driving in the car just might make your point. Remember, consistency is key. With children, and also in our more intimate relationships.
Oh, and PS: I love that you just came right out and said this. I love that you talk about when you DO like your husband to play with your nipples. That the act of intercourse grants him entry to the obviously sensitive area of your breasts. Thank you for utmost honesty. Daring, my dear.
It sounds like better communication or more effective communication is needed. If after that he still does it, then he's being an turd and doesn't really care whether you like it or not and that's just inconsiderate and rude.
ReplyDeleteSo, we're married to the same man then? Awkward.
ReplyDeleteJust want to say THANK YOU to all who commented. Trust me, communication on this particular subject is not an issue. It has been communicated as clearly and concisely as possible. Still, he LOVES my breasts and, most importantly, my nipples. When I was pregnant with *our* first child, all throughout the pregnancy he kept telling me that our child was going to starve to death because I wasn't lactating yet. This was a concept that he still had a hard time understanding even when I was pregnant with our 2nd child. The man just sincerely loves breasts. MY breasts, most specifically.
ReplyDeleteWhen we first started dating he told me that he never was much of a breast man. Anything more than a handful was a waste. But he loved my rather large (38DD) breasts. And, well, he's been obsessed with them for our entire relationship. Honestly, it's hard for me to believe that he wasn't much of a breast man before me since he won't leave them alone.
*SIGH* Well, it's just something I live with. As well as continue to communicate to him that if he wants to play with them, he needs to be reciprocating the pleasure. ;)
Now, let me say that in all honesty, sex with my frustrating husband is better than with any other many in my past (and, remember, I have been married before). I can orgasm so damned much easier with him than ever before him. Personally, I like to think it's the whole "true love" thing. But maybe it's just that he fits me so well. ;)
This is an excellent dilemma.
ReplyDelete